Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)

Director: Matthias Hoene
Writers: Matthias Hoene (original idea), James Moran, Lucas Roche (screenplay)
Stars: Rasmus Hardiker, Harry Treadaway, Michelle Ryan, Alan Ford

Ok, this is a very British film, I imagine for British people. I can see a lot of the humour going over a lot of peoples heads. But, having said that, if you loved films like Lock Stock, Snatch and especially Pegg’s Shaun of the Dead, then give it a watch, you won’t be disappointed. We follow two brothers Terry and Andy (played well enough by Hariker and Treadaway) who are a little on the dodgy side but basically have good hearts and intentions. They have planned a bank job in order to save their ex gangster grandads (wonderfully over acted by Ford) retirement home from being redeveloped. Their cousin Katy gets involved (played fantastically by Ryan from Eastenders fame), along with a crazy gun toting local lunatic.

All we need is the said building developers to unleash the hoards of hell from a buried tomb for the fun to start. The directing is fast paced, the script while not Shakespeare is sharp and witty (especially the rhyming slang, Abercrombie…Zombie anyone?) and the film moves along at a nice brisk pace. There’s a lot of old British TV stars making cameos here and there and the majority of the humour is very black and dark.

Treadaway is excellent and even Ryan surprised me. Far better than her soap days (which doesn’t say much in all fairness). The stars of the show though are definitely Alan Ford along with the wonderful Dudley Sutton. Sutton is a British television legend with over one hundred and fifty credits to his career. Honor Blackman is also her usual excellent self and it’s great to still see her working, especially in a film such as this. Even the great television luminary Richard Briers pops up with an appearance too. All very British indeed. The rest of the cast all do their jobs well enough with what little they have to do.

Add in copious amounts of swearing, craziness, gore and even a walking frame chase scene (which is absolute complete genius) and you have what you have. Much in the vein of Simon Pegg’s Shaun of the Dead this is just as funny but for different reasons. You can certainly see where the inspiration came from. With a much smaller budget though it is remarkable what they achieved. Whilst not a big fan of knock-off’s and copies, the zombie genre has been done to death by everybody and their dog so it is perhaps forgivable in this case.

Soundtrack, photography and direction are all of a reasonable standard given what this is and the film as a whole is served well by it’s older cast members, many of which have had wonderful careers. They do carry the younger members at times but the more inexperienced cast hold their own. My favourite thing perhaps would be that it does not go with the modern trend of having sub four minute mile zombies in it. Personal preference I know but one has to understand I grew up on the likes of Romero, Fulci, Ossorio and Deodato etc etc. I tend to dislike the modern craze for Olympic running zombies, but that’s just me. Old-school for the win with this reviewer sorry.

All in all, this is a great fun film, especially if you’re either a Brit-flick lover or a zombie lover. It doesn’t overstay its welcome and neither does it try to be too clever with its plot. Also, thankfully, Danny disastrous Dyer is nowhere this which just proves once again, he drags down anything he is near. A cracking, funny, low budget, British, crazy, zombie fun filled adventure. What more do you want folks, blood?


The Sage’s Rating:

Posted in Action, Comedy, Crime and tagged , , , , .

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