London Has Fallen (2016)

Director: Director: Babak Najafi
Writers: Creighton Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt
Stars: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman

Relatively unknown director Najafi brings us yet another dumb and stupid America saves the day action thriller (because no one else is capable). This one is a sequel to an equally dumb (but slightly enjoyable) film which really never needed making in the first place, let alone warranted another film. To add to the joy, the main cast of Olympus Has Fallen rejoins us for more slapstick and wooden adventures amid murderous and explosive terrorist malarky. Unfortunately we also got the same writers and they truly outdid themselves in the stupidity stakes this time around.

As we view Pakistan, news reports are informing us of a terrorist/arms attack. A prominent arms dealer is meeting with his son while at his sisters wedding. Unfortunately for them, someone else is also watching over the festivities who then advises the US military that he is on site. America does what it does best and drops a bomb, killing many innocent people in the process. Skip forward two years and Mike Banning (an ageing Butler) is being harassed by his wife over the amount of surveillance cameras in the nursery. Meanwhile, at the White House, the president receives an important and ominous phone call informing him of the death of the UK prime minister.

If we start with the small amounts of good here, at time the special effects look fantastic (and not so at others). Seeing London slowly fall apart is quite the visual treat for the eyes, but again at times it looks very cheap and amateurish. Acting for the most part is good as one would once again expect from the likes of Freeman, Eckhart and Bassett. The rest all play their parts well enough for this type of flick and I’m sure there was much re-shooting to avoid giggles and the ridiculousness of it all. Now unfortunately, that’s pretty much where all the good stuff ends.

Now the plot to this shocker is truly terrible and more far-fetched than man landing on the moon. The script is weak and simple. So many daft things happen one can’t be too sure if this was supposed to be serious or very tongue-in-cheek. Examples being keeping the presidents movements a secret, yet flying around the UK in a helicopter with the United States of America plastered all over it in extra large fonts, letting the president wander around outside after a crash while going to check on someone else (after saying we should leave in case it blows) and Banning dispatching a million bad guys and not taking any weapons or ammo from his fallen foes, then later bemoaning his lack of said ammo.

Butler is the single most biggest, baddest, deadliest one-man army since Rambo. All the slow-motion action shots prove it. Butler is also a manual gearbox expert and professional driver (go figure huh) unlike Mr President, who puts an automatic from drive into park to set off with a wheels a screeching in a not very exciting moment of terrible film making and inaccuracies. Student quality stuff I’m afraid. The ending of the film is equally moronic when it turns into a live-action version of Call of Duty and thankfully for the good guys, the bad guys (with their WMD’s) seem to be using Talk Talk internet as their WiFi is truly shocking.

The UK government apparently takes orders on what to do from a vice-president of all people, Butler barks and gruffs orders out to UK special forces teams and then ignores the Chief of Security, all the more laughable being his character would actually be a civilian in the United Kingdom and Butlers end speech has to be the most lamest and patriotic rubbish I’ve ever heard in a film before, never mind one has blatantly egocentric and bad as this one. And finally, Murica does what it does best once again by dropping a bloody big bomb on someone.

Does Hollywood actually think the British people are so stupid and inept that we would be completely infiltrated within our police forces, security and even the Queen’s guard? What is their obsession with bigging themselves up? Like their obsession with WWII, anyone would think they were there from day one and won the damn war themselves. Also the insecurity is frightening, they always have to be the heroes, winners, survivors etc, no other country does it to the same level because no one else cares. From a personal perspective, our dicks are not small enough for us to worry about this crap on a continual basis year after year. We don’t need to convince people how great we are.

The film is idiotic, insulting, patriotic, chest beating propaganda rubbish for rednecks who love to play the banjo. Butler is also far too old for this crap now and to the writers, give it up and please ditch ideas regarding the third installment. We can’t take any more mindless idiocy. Overall this is a leave your brain in the next town film but aside from the scenery there is nothing new here at all and as with the first film, just stick to watching Die Hard again instead.

The Sage’s Rating:
One & Half Stars

Posted in Action, Thriller and tagged , , , .

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