Rosewood Lane (2011)

Director: Victor Salva
Writer: Victor Salva
Stars: Rose McGowan, Lin Shaye, Ray Wise

This review is brought to you in association with Volvo. On a more serious note, while I accept that product placement is here to stay, I can deal with it in most cases and barely even notice it. This film however, well, it’s just downright blatant.

Now this starts out as a reasonably good thriller come mystery. Our heroine (McGowen) is a DJ on a local talk-show and also a psychiatrist who helps out kids. All good so far. She moves back into her childhood home after her abusive father has passed on. The house holds a lot of bad memories that she is determined to overcome. Oh, she is also warned by the neighbour to stay away from the paperboy.

This is where it gets all sorts of weird and mysterious as the paperboy for whatever reason takes it upon himself to freak her out and break into her home whenever he has the opportunity, escaping with the aid of his trusty….yup you guessed it, bicycle. The local cops get involved (Ray Wise who is much better than this stuff) along with her former assistant district attorney boyfriend. Now this is where the dumbness comes in.

I just don’t get it. Do any of us? I often wonder if films like this absolutely require everyone to be as completely dumb as possible. In most films like this, no one acts logically, realistically, or like an actual human being. It’s almost as if it’s compulsory to behave and do the most idiotic things possible in order to progress the story line. Because, if they all acted in a real way, the film would be over inside of half an hour.

I’m not actually going to go into a lot of detail on the plot in this review, despite the dumbness of their actions, it is actually not too bad a film. Until we hit the last five to ten minutes. Now I’m not sure if Salva (who I’ve quite liked over the years) intentionally wanted to make the ending as weird as possible and leave a million questions for us, but I feel if he did, that it backfired on him. Add in some ridiculously silly feats of physics and laws of gravity, it all gets a little messy at the end.

Lin Shaye despite being second billed is in for literally five minutes (probably to help sell the film) and one does have to wonder what Lesley-Anne Down was thinking, who was also terribly wasted. All in all this is a reasonable if not very average stuff from a director and actors who are capable of much better.


The Sage’s Rating:

Posted in Horror, Thriller and tagged , , , .

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